The First Dog, "Machu Picchu Obama"

The country i live in and love has offered the president elect of my homeland a gift. How nice, you might think. But the gift Peru is offering the Obama family might look like this:

or like this:

Yes, my friends, that is the Peruvian Hairless Dog. Native to Peru, bred by the Incas, known for their high body heat and low chance for parasites or fleas. Also known for being the ugliest dog in the world. Just last week i had the chance to come face to face with one of these creatures and they are even more frightening than in the photos.

The other insane thing about this gift is that Peru insists that the dog's official name will be "Machu Picchu." Can anyone imagine President Obama on the front porch of the White House yelling something that most American's have no idea how to pronounce? Who in their right mind would name a dog something like Machu Picchu? A racehorse, maybe. Not a family pet. Maybe try "Mari," short for Marinera, the national dance of peru. Or perhaps Cuzco, the famous center of the Incan empire. Or even Inca. But Machu Picchu, i mean, come on.